:(

i miss orange hair.
music: kottonmouth - fire it up

happy new years!

I bet it rhymed in german..

Lovers, had they the time, could
recite words of wonder to the night.
But most things end by concealing us.
Look: trees are!
Our shelters endure.
But we, like mingled winds,
claim no single habitat.
All things conspire to
keep us secret-half,
it seems, from shame
and half in token of
some unspoken hope.
..
Angel! Were there an unknown place
where, upon an uncanny carpet, lovers
could disport themselves in ways
here inconceivable-daring ariel maneuvers
of the heart, scaling high plateaus of passion,
ladders leaning one against the other,
planted trembling upon the void...
Were there such a place, would their
performance prove convincing to an audience
of the innumerable and silent dead?
Would not these dead toss down their
final, hoarded, secret coins of joy,
legal tender of eternity, before the
couple smiling on that detumescent carpet,
fully satisfied?

--Rainer Maria Rilke
(From the Duino Elegies)

What in the world?

There's not a whole lot I can do about a lot in the world. I try to be myself, and all the wrong people fall for all the wrong reasons, and instead of making me happy and unappreciative, I feel guilt, remorse, lonliness. Not exactly the feelings love and kindness should give me. I don't understand the world anymore. I thought I did. I guess I never will. I realize, though, that the only thing that will keep me strong and give me happiness is myself. I need to make my own sucess. I need to create my own destiny, my own future. My own life, I suppose.
But I just wish it was like it was. Used to be, I mean. But nothing ever is or will be. All I can do is live or die. I can just be.


Fall-time sure is pretty.

Get Busy!

"what're you gonna do, tie up a ponyyy?"


it's a comfort to know, when you're singing the hit-the-road blues, that anywhere else you could possibly go after [here] would be ... a pleasure cruise.

let's open up a restaurant in santa fe - sunny santa fe would be nice. we'll open up a restaurant in santa fe and leave this to the roaches and mice !
you're a sensitive aesthete! brush the sauce onto the meat. you could make the menu sparkle with rhyme, you could drum a gentle drum. i could seat guests as they come, chatting not about heidegger, but wine!
..
what's the time? well it's gotta be close to midnight. my body's talking to me, it says "time for danger." it says "i wanna commit a crime, wanna be the cause of a fight, wanna put on my tight skirt and flirt with a stranger."

I'm not born to be a rescuer

I live in Miss. Bianca's little porcelain pagoda, peeking out every couple days, and wondering if the real world is as interesting as the stories I hear. Sometimes I think I am sick of eating cream cheese, but then I sit on the fountain, see the colours, feel my silk pillows.. I realize that a life of adventure and turrets and treacle and salt mines and rivers isn't for rme.
I'm so secluded and I don't even know it.

Soni's entity

My name is probably not really important, but for now, you may refer to me as Soni. Everyone else does. I am at a tender age, the age between childhood andd adulthood. I live like I should, I think.

I am the moon, or so she said. I am floating on high over to the stars in the water. One day, I will be with you, no.. I will always be with you. (No matter what you are.) I smell beautiful, like amorito, and chocolate, and I am domestic. I am cooking.
I am happy, I love you all. Maybe I was bitter. Maybe I still am. But I was unappreciative. I blow a kiss and the sparkles my love takes the form of blow to the air and catch the wind, flying around the planet to everyone I care about.
Sparkles in the wind...
Throwing wishes to the sea...

Love life, live love, live in the moment.
The only thing to do is jump over the moon.


smerp===;;hdhjkiopi
h
asdsfadfsfasdasfbnh


---;;
we knew all the answers and
we shouted them
like anthems,
anxious and suspicious
that God knew how much
we cheated
;;;;;
there's no
indication of what we were
meant to be, sucking
up to strangers, throwing
wishes to the
sea
``---efhrfj7;

Virgo: The week of the literalist

I move about the world in a vaguely directionless, gentle manner. I might come across as an artist and a lover of peace; but my open mind and heart can give me a chameleon-like persona. Although often quiet and shy, another day may find me talkative and passionate. I are hugely impressionable, have a dreamy disposition, and project a soft-hearted personality.

I resist any kind of labeling--my character is changeable, and I don't want to be pinned down or pegged in any way. Mine is a restless, searching nature that cannot be happy with any one way of living or being. I see the world the way I want to see it at any given time, so objectivity is not necessarily a strong point. Neither is decision-making!

I walk around with my head in the clouds, and even when you do have my attention, my dreaminess is almost always apparent. I often possess an irresistible charm that comes on in a quiet way, with a soft aura about me. Both my appearance and mannerisms are usually quite intriguing to others. Since I change my mind frequently enough, and like to "feel" my way through life, too much organization or structure can be seen as very limiting.



People could perceive what I think of as 'just thinking' as dreamy introspection. I seem ephemeral and hazy, lost in a world of visions and intuitions. Even if I feel absolutely sure of myself, others may step gingerly around me, afraid to break me or offend my supposed sensitivity. I am dreamy, inactive, stubborn, and least provocative. My eyes are full of sex and lust. I should avoid hurting others at any cost. I am modest, kind, courteous and lovable. I am soft and good natured, nervous temperament but highly romantic. I'm fond of love, poetry and music. I have a charitable nature.